Teen Dating Violence

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When you think of February, you probably think of Valentine’s day-- red hearts, flowers, candy, and maybe spending time with that “special someone”. But did you know that February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month?

One in three teens in the U.S. will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults - that’s 33% of all relationships; and it unfortunately doesn’t stop there.  This rate increases to 43% - NEARLY HALF - for young women in college. 

Dating violence, at any age, impacts the victim, but their friends, families, and communities as well. But... teens who experience dating violence often struggle with removing themselves from the situation, and are likely to carry these unhealthy patterns of violence into future relationships. 

Sooo….. What can you do to break the cycle, and protect yourself or your teen? Talk about it.  Start a conversation with your friends, your children, and your family. Build an open relationship with the teens in your life by being open-minded, and teaching them values and decision making skills, and teach them about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships (Check out our list below!). By doing this, you create a safe space for the teens in your life to go if they ever find themselves in a harmful relationship.

The “HotLine.org” (https://www.thehotline.org/help/) offers 24/7 confidential support through a phone call or online chat service. The Hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to empower victims and survivors to find safety and live free of abuse. 

No matter where you or your teen are in a relationship, planning for your/their emotional and physical safety is an important part of staying healthy.

Additional resources include:

  • Vera House 24-hour Hotline (315) 422-7273

  • NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline (800) 656-4673

  • Onondaga County Helpline (315) 435-8300 / www.ongov.net

Signs of a Healthy Relationship: 

  1. Consent: Using words like “yes, mhmm”, or body language 

  2. Respect: understanding your partner's thoughts and feelings but not crossing their boundaries

  3. Trust: Believing your partner when they tell you where they are or what they’re doing 

  4. Support: Your partner should support your goals and aspirations  

  5. Communication: Being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship: 

  1. Intensity: When someone expressed extreme behavior, or behavior that feels overwhelming 

  2. Possessiveness: When someone is jealous to a point where they try to control who you spend time with and what you do.

  3. Manipulation: When someone tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions.

  4. Isolation: When someone keeps you away from friends, family, or other people.

  5. Belittling: When someone does and says things to make you feel bad about yourself 

  6. Guilting: When someone makes you feel responsible for their actions or makes you feel like it’s your job to keep them happy.

Deflecting Responsibility: When someone repeatedly makes excuses for their unhealthy behavior.

Josh Amidon